What's in a Name?


What exactly to call you people?

This is one of the many dilemmas I have encountered following my decision to return to blogging. I like to talk to you people in some of my posts, but I have not been able to figure out how to collectively refer to you. The obvious choice was “readers,” but when I say, “Reader, blah blah blah blah,” I feel like I’m stealing Charlotte Bronte’s line {and if you haven’t read Jane Eyre, then I’ll just go ahead and NOT tell you what I’m talking about. So go read it. Like right now. I’ll wait.}

But I didn’t just want to refer to you all as “guys” or “peeps” {cuz I’m definitely cool enough for that last one}, and I don’t feel I can pull off “y’all” on a consistent basis, especially when I’m waxing poetic about my love for 19th century British writers. And even though I say “okay, kiddos” a hundred thousand times a day from August to May, I don’t know how many of you fit into that category.

So what did I do? I turned to the internet.

And the internet did not disappoint.

So many collective nouns! For animals and plants and humans! Some are strange {a hood of snails}, some are hilarious {a scolding of seamstresses}, and some are just plain duh {a band of musicians}.
A drove, or flock, or herd of sheep
I thought, “hey, just choose your favorite animal and use that one, like calling them your pack or something.” But I don’t think that calling you people “my leash” or “my skulk” is very flattering {or maybe it is? I really don’t know}.
This little skulk is quite adorable
And then I thought, “Well, just look up some gender-neutral group names for people,” but that got me back to squad, crew, folks, peeps…still don’t think those are for me. {Although the article I found did warn me about one that could be offensive, depending on the make up of said group…mortals. Just in case, you know, I have any immortal readers. Seems like something I should worry about.}

And I flat out drew the line at “a punnet of strawberries.”
A waddle of penguins {when they're in the water, they're called a "raft"}
In conclusion, I am no closer to an option than I was at the beginning of this post. Maybe I’ll just go with “readers.” Feels like that might just fit the bill, and I’m sure Ms. Bronte would be flattered to know I’ll be thinking of her whenever I type that.

But, dear readers, if you have any suggestions, I would be more than willing to change it up.

My dear superfluity…my skirl…my rookery…my pratfall…
A pat of flamingos

Goodness gracious.

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