Lost in Austen

First off, let me apologize for taking a month long hiatus. I didn't intend for that to happen. Life and school just caught up with me and left me exhausted by the time 3:50 rolled around, with little energy to do much other than drink a Straw-ber-ita and watch That 70s Show reruns with my dad and sister. Don't feel bad, though. I'm behind on everything right now. Except for my bills. I paid those!

At any rate, I have finally finished the second book on my reading list. It didn't take me long, but it took me awhile to start it. It shouldn't have; I've already mentioned it once on this blog, back in one of my first posts. I've already stated it is one of my favorites...which is why I was so hesitant to start it.

Huh? Does this even make sense? Before I continue, let me reveal the book to which I'm referring.

There are two problems with reading Jane Austen, and both of those problems, I was trying to avoid. First of all, the book ends. Duh. All books end. But I hate losing that feeling...that feeling of being there, in Longbourn with Mr. Bennett and his nervous wife and his five interesting daughters...that feeling of walking through Pemberley and seeing Miss Darcy for the first time...that feeling when Mr. Darcy bursts into the Collins's cottage and then leaves just as suddenly. I always get rather invested in what I'm reading, to the point where I forget where the book ends and I begin. 

Secondly, once I start reading Austen, I don't want to stop. And even though one book ends, I can easily start another one. So no, I haven't started reading Girls in White Dresses even though it is sitting on my stack of books (right above my half-finished copy of World Without End and right below my recently opened copy of The Three Musketeers). Instead, I've been reading Sense and Sensibility, which, even though it sounds like it might be, is not a sequel to P & P.

I could ramble on and on about Elizabeth Bennett and Jane and Bingley and Darcy for hours and hours, but I won't. Instead, I'll focus on a thought I had just as I was finishing it. This is taken from my journal, with the appropriate bits included and the inappropriate (in that they are none of your business) bits removed.

See, the problem is I've started rereading Pride and Prejudice and so nothing else exists in my world. Just me, Elizabeth Bennett, and Mr. Darcy. He has ruined me for all men. Although I really don't see myself as Elizabeth--I am more of a Jane. Which means I will never get a Mr. Darcy because I will never be able to dislike someone so intensely on the outset. I always like them at first until some reason comes along for me to dislike them. But to have someone so devoted to you the way Darcy is to Elizabeth...that is my dream. And if he looked like Matthew McFayden, I wouldn't complain either.

Austen has a way of making you analyze yourself and your romantic pursuits. I said above that I feel like I'm more of a Jane than an Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells her older sister that she is too nice and refuses to think ill of others. She always looks for the positive in someone. I feel like that is me. I also feel like Elizabeth's best friend, Charlotte, on my more depressed days. Charlotte chooses to marry a man she knows will never be the love of her life because it is the safe thing to do. She will have a home of her own and possibly children and someone to take care of her. I worry about this...I don't want to be a Charlotte.

Anyway, if you have not read this book yet, you simply must. I warn you, it takes a while to get past the 18th century language, but I PROMISE YOU, it is well worth it. And if you choose to see the movie, I highly recommend the Kiera Knightly version. I haven't seen the BBC miniseries with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth or the 1940 adaptation starring Laurence Olivier and Greer Garson, but I plan on watching them someday. When I have time.

Stay gold!