A Hallmark Way of Looking at Things
This is going to make me sound like a middle-aged woman, but I love the Hallmark Channel. I'm not a Lifetime movie kind of girl, even though both channels are quite similar. But the Hallmark Channel appeals to the idealist in me. I love the idyllic movie settings and characters...the implausible scenarios and yet ones you find yourself believing.
I fell in love with their movies when they started making the Love Comes Softly series by Janette Oke into films. Granted, they aren't great films, and they aren't very true to the books, either, but they are sweet films with a great message.
Since then, every once in a while, I will check out what's playing and watch a few movies. One I watched recently struck my fancy. Again, the plot is very simplistic and predictable, but the concept behind the story struck a chord with me.
The movie was called The Wish List and starred Jennifer Esposito, who I loved on Blue Bloods as Danny's partner. As one might have guessed, the main character, Sarah, makes lists for everything, so we had a lot in common. The movie starts out with her realizing that dating is hard, lists are easy, so why not make a list for dating? Things the guy has to have, can't have, should do, shouldn't do--you get the picture. Her list is expansive and includes crazy things like "no piercings," "no red meat," and "cries during movies." I'm sure you see where this is going. She meets a guy who fits all of the checkboxes on her list, and she also meets a guy who doesn't not fill any of them. Before the movie even started, I knew who she would end up. Like I said, it wasn't a great movie, but then again, I'm no film critic. I'm sure no critics actually watched it.
Perhaps this post has also become predictable. Perhaps you already see where I'm going with this. After I finished the movie, I made my own list. My list was much simpler than Sarah's, much more broad, but I did it for a reason. I have always heard that when you are looking for that one person, that future spouse, you need to know what you want. I don't mean 6'5", 150 pounds, green eyes, and surfs on the weekends. What the person giving this advice meant was you need to know what is negotiable and what is not. Things like faith and education, ideas about a future family, that sort of thing. Things that are likely not a passing fancy and instead have a deeper importance to you.
If you read this blog, then you know I like to write to my future husband. In my mind, the poor sap is wandering around aimlessly, waiting to meet me...obviously, not true. But I do realize that everything that is happening to that man right now is making him the man I'm going to fall in love with. Whatever he is doing today is affecting his future self. I'm changing daily, and so is he, so my "Wish List" isn't nearly as long as Sarah's. But it's still important to me.
My Future Husband must be...
1. Taller than I am. Non negotiable. I'm sorry. It is about the only superficial thing I care about. Sure, I love dark hair and dark eyes, and if he has the body of an underwear model, I'm not going to complain. But height is the one area I won't budge on. Again, I'm sorry.
2. Educated. A bachelor's degree would be ideal; anything higher than that just adds to your appeal. I'm a teacher. Education is clearly important to me. I plan on getting my Master's Degree, so it would be nice to value the same things. Also, I don't want our children to grow up thinking college is optional. Both my parents went to college. My kids are, too. In my mind, this also means that he reads, and more than just Sports Illustrated. Again, I'm a teacher. You do the math.
3. A man of deep faith. Maybe this should be #1 on my list, but I put it here for no particular reason. I want to raise our kids with the same values coming from both parents. But your faith does not give you the right to be ignorant. We are not going to teach our children to hate anybody, so if you have crazy ideas about women or people of different races, religions, and sexual orientations, you need not apply. Especially if you have old-fashioned ideas about women.
4. Healthy. As long as a person is healthy, I don't care about body types. I'm not marrying a couch potato (even though I can sometimes resemble that vegetable). Exercise when and how you want, and I'll do the same, but we're going to be healthy people.
5. Interesting. You can interpret this in a myriad of ways, and that is how I intended it. Interesting could mean he has an interesting hobby or likes to travel or likes to cook or plays seven musical instruments or has climbed a mountain or builds things...don't be boring. I'm trying not to be, although most people might disagree with that. If I plan on marrying you and spending the next 50+ years of my life with you, intrigue me.
6. Family-oriented. I've mentioned our future children several times because that is non-optional for me. I want a family--a big family. I plan on being a foster mom someday. I'd love to adopt children and give them a loving home. I've got lots of love to share. No, I don't want my own TLC show, so you can quit worrying about that. But at least four kids would be ideal. And I want a person who is as close to his family as I am to mine. I've posted about my family; we're not like an over-the-top, involved in every aspect of each other's lives family, but we are close. And I'm close to my cousins and extended family, too. We're going to see a lot of them (provided we live close), and I think it would be great for it to be both sides of our family, not just mine. Although the idea of meeting all those people and getting them to like me is terrifying...
7. Semi-similar. We need to share some interests, like movies or music or football teams. We have to have something in common. I went on dates with two guys that, aside from being single, heterosexual, and breathing, I had nothing in common with. Not a single thing. Obviously, each one of those guys only had one date. Both of us realized the futility of trying to pursue something that we just didn't feel.
So to go back to where I was at the beginning, I love Hallmark Channel movies. In my mind, my life is one.
Stay gold!
I fell in love with their movies when they started making the Love Comes Softly series by Janette Oke into films. Granted, they aren't great films, and they aren't very true to the books, either, but they are sweet films with a great message.
Since then, every once in a while, I will check out what's playing and watch a few movies. One I watched recently struck my fancy. Again, the plot is very simplistic and predictable, but the concept behind the story struck a chord with me.
The movie was called The Wish List and starred Jennifer Esposito, who I loved on Blue Bloods as Danny's partner. As one might have guessed, the main character, Sarah, makes lists for everything, so we had a lot in common. The movie starts out with her realizing that dating is hard, lists are easy, so why not make a list for dating? Things the guy has to have, can't have, should do, shouldn't do--you get the picture. Her list is expansive and includes crazy things like "no piercings," "no red meat," and "cries during movies." I'm sure you see where this is going. She meets a guy who fits all of the checkboxes on her list, and she also meets a guy who doesn't not fill any of them. Before the movie even started, I knew who she would end up. Like I said, it wasn't a great movie, but then again, I'm no film critic. I'm sure no critics actually watched it.
Perhaps this post has also become predictable. Perhaps you already see where I'm going with this. After I finished the movie, I made my own list. My list was much simpler than Sarah's, much more broad, but I did it for a reason. I have always heard that when you are looking for that one person, that future spouse, you need to know what you want. I don't mean 6'5", 150 pounds, green eyes, and surfs on the weekends. What the person giving this advice meant was you need to know what is negotiable and what is not. Things like faith and education, ideas about a future family, that sort of thing. Things that are likely not a passing fancy and instead have a deeper importance to you.
If you read this blog, then you know I like to write to my future husband. In my mind, the poor sap is wandering around aimlessly, waiting to meet me...obviously, not true. But I do realize that everything that is happening to that man right now is making him the man I'm going to fall in love with. Whatever he is doing today is affecting his future self. I'm changing daily, and so is he, so my "Wish List" isn't nearly as long as Sarah's. But it's still important to me.
My Future Husband must be...
1. Taller than I am. Non negotiable. I'm sorry. It is about the only superficial thing I care about. Sure, I love dark hair and dark eyes, and if he has the body of an underwear model, I'm not going to complain. But height is the one area I won't budge on. Again, I'm sorry.
2. Educated. A bachelor's degree would be ideal; anything higher than that just adds to your appeal. I'm a teacher. Education is clearly important to me. I plan on getting my Master's Degree, so it would be nice to value the same things. Also, I don't want our children to grow up thinking college is optional. Both my parents went to college. My kids are, too. In my mind, this also means that he reads, and more than just Sports Illustrated. Again, I'm a teacher. You do the math.
3. A man of deep faith. Maybe this should be #1 on my list, but I put it here for no particular reason. I want to raise our kids with the same values coming from both parents. But your faith does not give you the right to be ignorant. We are not going to teach our children to hate anybody, so if you have crazy ideas about women or people of different races, religions, and sexual orientations, you need not apply. Especially if you have old-fashioned ideas about women.
4. Healthy. As long as a person is healthy, I don't care about body types. I'm not marrying a couch potato (even though I can sometimes resemble that vegetable). Exercise when and how you want, and I'll do the same, but we're going to be healthy people.
5. Interesting. You can interpret this in a myriad of ways, and that is how I intended it. Interesting could mean he has an interesting hobby or likes to travel or likes to cook or plays seven musical instruments or has climbed a mountain or builds things...don't be boring. I'm trying not to be, although most people might disagree with that. If I plan on marrying you and spending the next 50+ years of my life with you, intrigue me.
6. Family-oriented. I've mentioned our future children several times because that is non-optional for me. I want a family--a big family. I plan on being a foster mom someday. I'd love to adopt children and give them a loving home. I've got lots of love to share. No, I don't want my own TLC show, so you can quit worrying about that. But at least four kids would be ideal. And I want a person who is as close to his family as I am to mine. I've posted about my family; we're not like an over-the-top, involved in every aspect of each other's lives family, but we are close. And I'm close to my cousins and extended family, too. We're going to see a lot of them (provided we live close), and I think it would be great for it to be both sides of our family, not just mine. Although the idea of meeting all those people and getting them to like me is terrifying...
7. Semi-similar. We need to share some interests, like movies or music or football teams. We have to have something in common. I went on dates with two guys that, aside from being single, heterosexual, and breathing, I had nothing in common with. Not a single thing. Obviously, each one of those guys only had one date. Both of us realized the futility of trying to pursue something that we just didn't feel.
So to go back to where I was at the beginning, I love Hallmark Channel movies. In my mind, my life is one.
Stay gold!
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