A Quarantine Check-In
Here we are, three weeks into this new reality we are all living.
Has it really only been three weeks, or thereabouts? It feels like much longer. (I'm going in a slightly more serious direction today, just so you all know...get that little disclaimer out of the way.)
So, how are you doing?
If you're anything like me, then it changes every day.
I feel like it is getting harder. Does anyone else think so?
I really thought all of this social isolation would be hardest at the beginning. Maybe not for me, because I'm an introvert who was definitely built for social isolation. Not necessarily long bouts of social isolation, but more of the general concept of being by myself and taking care of my mind and such things.
However, I think everything is getting harder. Right now, I'm writing this on my front porch (we shall see how long this lasts because the sun is definitely not in my favor currently, but I refuse to be deterred). We have been very fortuante here in Central Illinois (not sure about the nation as a whole) with some beautiful weather lately, and with that comes the inevitable cabin fever. The I've-been-cooped-up-all-winter-and-now-I-want-to-go-wander-around-a-garden-center-or-something feeling.
Except that we can't.
And, another slight disclaimer: I don't want anyone to think that I think any "problems" I am having are in any way comparable to those people who truly are struggling right now. I'm quite privileged to have the job that I do that has begun to adapt to this new situation (though people still have a hard time grasping with the fact that during school hours on school days, I'm technically working...not that I know exactly what working from home looks like as a teacher). If I sound like a spoiled first-worlder, then I apologize, but I don't think anyone can dispute the fact that everyone is affected by the situation, albeit not in the same ways.
Like I said, it's getting harder. The walls of the house seem to be shrinking in. There is very little joy to be found in certain things right now, things that might normally bring me joy. Like the fact that I can laze around in my pajamas and have an extra cup of coffee in the morning. Now I'm starting to wonder if I drink too much coffee...
There is so much "time" to get things done, and yet there is no time. When I fall into bed, I still don't feel like I've accomplished everything I set out to do, and yet I don't feel as exhausted as I normally would be after a full day. There's a imbalance, a disturbance in the force if you will.
I mean, I was even considering reactivating my online dating profile...you know that means I'm struggling. But it would be one more person to talk to, one more person to help put things in perspective.
I'm, again, quite lucky. I am single, so I really only have to worry about myself. I don't have children to consider or feed. I have the ability to FaceTime and Zoom with the people I miss seeing--there are still a few I haven't done that with, which needs to be rectified ASAP. I am trying very hard to be good about controlling my snacking and food consumption. I'm getting a lot of reading done. I'm getting a lot of writing done. I've knitted a sweater and like 20 coasters. I've done hours of yoga and listened to hours of podcasts and watched hours of shows. I really can't complain about that aspect of it all.
But I miss things.
I miss seeing my students and coworkers.
I miss singing in the choir (it's Lent, so we actually would have been singing).
I miss travelling. I was supposed to be in Philadelphia over Spring Break, so that will have to happen some other time.
I miss meeting up with friends for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.
I miss eating in restaurants!
I miss wandering around stores. I don't even want to buy anything, I just want to ramble through the aisles.
I miss the freedom of driving somewhere just for the sake of doing something.
I miss getting my hair done. It's bad. I really need a haircut. And a recolor.
And maybe that's the thing I need to focus on. Someday, I'll be able to do those things again, and I need to make a point to do them!
I need to do better at calling and checking in on people.
I need to do better at setting dates and going out with people (all people...friends, family, others).
I need to do better at patronizing the businesses I am missing. (Just you wait, Barnes and Noble. Your shelves will be picked clean by the time I'm through.)
I was always guilty of pulling the "I'm just so busy" card. Filling my schedule with hundreds of random things that just take up time and keep me from being able to say yes to wine nights and coffee dates and road trips. I have at least four trips planned for the post-quarantine time. I'm hoping that is summer--fingers crossed. I've seen so many inspirational Facebook posts from people who can say it better than me, but I really am keeping track of the things I am missing.
And you can bet those will be the first things on my "to-do list" once we get the all-clear.
After I get my hair done.
Because it's really bad.
Has it really only been three weeks, or thereabouts? It feels like much longer. (I'm going in a slightly more serious direction today, just so you all know...get that little disclaimer out of the way.)
So, how are you doing?
If you're anything like me, then it changes every day.
I feel like it is getting harder. Does anyone else think so?
I really thought all of this social isolation would be hardest at the beginning. Maybe not for me, because I'm an introvert who was definitely built for social isolation. Not necessarily long bouts of social isolation, but more of the general concept of being by myself and taking care of my mind and such things.
However, I think everything is getting harder. Right now, I'm writing this on my front porch (we shall see how long this lasts because the sun is definitely not in my favor currently, but I refuse to be deterred). We have been very fortuante here in Central Illinois (not sure about the nation as a whole) with some beautiful weather lately, and with that comes the inevitable cabin fever. The I've-been-cooped-up-all-winter-and-now-I-want-to-go-wander-around-a-garden-center-or-something feeling.
Except that we can't.
And, another slight disclaimer: I don't want anyone to think that I think any "problems" I am having are in any way comparable to those people who truly are struggling right now. I'm quite privileged to have the job that I do that has begun to adapt to this new situation (though people still have a hard time grasping with the fact that during school hours on school days, I'm technically working...not that I know exactly what working from home looks like as a teacher). If I sound like a spoiled first-worlder, then I apologize, but I don't think anyone can dispute the fact that everyone is affected by the situation, albeit not in the same ways.
Like I said, it's getting harder. The walls of the house seem to be shrinking in. There is very little joy to be found in certain things right now, things that might normally bring me joy. Like the fact that I can laze around in my pajamas and have an extra cup of coffee in the morning. Now I'm starting to wonder if I drink too much coffee...
There is so much "time" to get things done, and yet there is no time. When I fall into bed, I still don't feel like I've accomplished everything I set out to do, and yet I don't feel as exhausted as I normally would be after a full day. There's a imbalance, a disturbance in the force if you will.
I mean, I was even considering reactivating my online dating profile...you know that means I'm struggling. But it would be one more person to talk to, one more person to help put things in perspective.
I'm, again, quite lucky. I am single, so I really only have to worry about myself. I don't have children to consider or feed. I have the ability to FaceTime and Zoom with the people I miss seeing--there are still a few I haven't done that with, which needs to be rectified ASAP. I am trying very hard to be good about controlling my snacking and food consumption. I'm getting a lot of reading done. I'm getting a lot of writing done. I've knitted a sweater and like 20 coasters. I've done hours of yoga and listened to hours of podcasts and watched hours of shows. I really can't complain about that aspect of it all.
But I miss things.
I miss seeing my students and coworkers.
I miss singing in the choir (it's Lent, so we actually would have been singing).
I miss travelling. I was supposed to be in Philadelphia over Spring Break, so that will have to happen some other time.
I miss meeting up with friends for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.
I miss eating in restaurants!
I miss wandering around stores. I don't even want to buy anything, I just want to ramble through the aisles.
I miss the freedom of driving somewhere just for the sake of doing something.
I miss getting my hair done. It's bad. I really need a haircut. And a recolor.
And maybe that's the thing I need to focus on. Someday, I'll be able to do those things again, and I need to make a point to do them!
I need to do better at calling and checking in on people.
I need to do better at setting dates and going out with people (all people...friends, family, others).
I need to do better at patronizing the businesses I am missing. (Just you wait, Barnes and Noble. Your shelves will be picked clean by the time I'm through.)
I was always guilty of pulling the "I'm just so busy" card. Filling my schedule with hundreds of random things that just take up time and keep me from being able to say yes to wine nights and coffee dates and road trips. I have at least four trips planned for the post-quarantine time. I'm hoping that is summer--fingers crossed. I've seen so many inspirational Facebook posts from people who can say it better than me, but I really am keeping track of the things I am missing.
And you can bet those will be the first things on my "to-do list" once we get the all-clear.
After I get my hair done.
Because it's really bad.
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